Berge's folly

The rumbling was heard miles around. Berge Zion Goldberg, malevolent dictator of Gondolin, hungered for his daily meal of Catholic infants garnished with hemlock. He had the wicked pleasure of enjoying these meals ever since he seized power and started

his unjust reign of terror. Berge was known throughout the land for his unruly treatment of citizens and sociopathy in regards to children. It was a death sentence for pre-pubescent boys recruited to his personal servant force. They were made to dress in

full bondage gear to please their master. New additions to the ranks of the force only stayed on for about 2 months before dying of extreme neglect and abuse. As Berge called for his head servant boy, a child by the name of James. James limped

into the room, his gait a result of Berge's violent fits of rage and lust. James listened dutifully, for fear of being struck by his master, and took down his meal order. "FOR BREAKFAST I REQUIRE 3 INFANTS SPRINKLED WITH SPICES AND HERBS"

The boy shed a single tear in emphatic sadness for the fates the babies sacrificed for Berge's insatiable hunger. Berge looked lustifully at the tear, thirsting for it, but dismissing the thought. After a short period of grilling, the infants were

ready for Berge's teeth to sink into them. As he grabbed the first victim, he gazed out his huge window overlooking the oppressed people of Gondolin. He laughed at the horrible quality of life they endured, while he was enjoying a gilded life. He was just

about to sink his dirty, yellowed teeth into the child when a loud crash knocked him off his chair. He struggled to gain his faculties and finally pulled himself up, seeing a squad of Prussian troops pointin their weapons at him. He let out a cry of sad

regret. The troops pumped their arrows into Berge, spilling black blood over his carpet made of orphan hides, and his falling fat body knocked over his inkwell filled with tears and afterbirth. After the shooting ceased, the prussian troops breathed the

spirit of Friedrich I into the dead infants, reviving them instantly. James, previously hiding in the corner, walked over to his dead master and looked into his long dead black eyes. For a moment he gazed at the Prussian captain, then back to Berge.

With the speed of ten cheetahs, James thrust his hand into Berge and grasped his heart. Ripping the stillbeating blacked heart out of him, he walked over to the window. With the voice of the ancients, James bellowed the words, "WE ARE FREE!" and at that

very moment, the Les Miserables song "Do you hear the people sing" started to play. The people feasted for 10 days and all was right in Gondolin for milennia.