TheBookOfPandaP2

Chapter 2 Typical, the world needed the insane Panda agian. Just as he had suspected they had fallen apart without him. Thats when the Panda came out of his drug haze and was sitting in his office. Awesome, he thought, I'm still King of Panama. The small

asian man entered the room, gasping for air. "Sir, you must see!". The Panda lunged from the room pulling on his hat. He grabbed his cane, triwling it. The moon was blue, thats when it hit him. He jumped out the window of the bed and breakfast he was

staying in. He took out his gun and slowly approached the ocean. "All right, I know you're here." A huge sea monster thing rose from the ocean. BAM BAM he shot it. In a high pitched voice it replied "Foolish one, I am the mastermind

creation of Barq's root beer." The Panda pulled out a hang glider and gathered speed. It was a long shot but it just might work. He launched into the air and with one hand took off a shoe. In a twirling motion he cut the sole off the shoe, then snorted

the cocaine he had hidden in the sole of the shoe. Tired and alone, the Panda crawled up out of the ocean. He had to talk to his mom soon. He dialed quickly, each motion a precise peck. The sound of the dials rang through the air, in perfect harmony

with all of its surroundings. The Panda placed the phone to his ear. "Phil's Pizza, how may I help you?" "Two large cheese pizzas delivered to my house." "Ok", the phone hung

up. The Panda next crawled over the jet. He flew to an island somewhere in the northern hemisphere. He parachuted out of the plane in a purple jumpsuit, and met with the remaining members of the Jackson 5. After a quick song he chopped down a tree,

building a log cabin. He burnt down the log cabin with his prisoners of war tied to wooden posts. He calculated the time it would take him to chew through the baboon's leg. It was a all or nothing deal, he began. Four minutes later, it was finished,

and he smoked a cigar with a dead man. He now knew that he was approaching a major decision in life, yes or no? He quickly retreated into the mountains leaving a paper trail so long it would confound even the smartest lab rats. It was a good thing he knew

kung fu, because a group of pirates ambushed him. He took out a taser and dealt with them one by one. He launched himself at the first one, tripping on a rock tasing him in the lower thigh. He next took out his magic wand, casting a spell of fire, he

killed two more. Pulling out throwing stars, things would start to get interesting. He flung one missing, then flung another bouncing off the man's force field. He countered the force field using a stone of RAL. Unfortunately it was a trap. The fat pirate

threw a snake on him. The Panda wrestled the snake off, then put on a biege party hat and swung a plastic shovel at the fat pirate. The pirate dissipated in a giant grey mist. It was another trap, but he had his own trap this time. He

pulled the trigger to his gun shooting an explosive barrel. The explosive barrel was rigged to countless other explosives blowing the whole mountain to smithereens. He walked away in slow motion throwing a coat over his shoulder. He next traveled to Miami

where he would work as a film writer. His first film was Alpacas Follow Moon Trails Soon. It was abbreviated as AFMTS and was rated the 867th most popular movie of the year, featuring Tom Cruise playing a tree, and some homeless dude eating a cocunut for

2/3 of the film. The Panda appeared in the movie as well as a struggling dug addict who was looking for his parents, because he found a dog that could play baseball. The Panda was sensing he was not welcome in Miami any more. His house had been used

as the headquarters for a terrorist operation, and the scene of a murder, 250 years ago. The Panda quickly contacted his agents and left Miamia a pile of rubble. Literally, a small pile of rubble on his door step, he was a bad ass. Thats when two black

SUV's came at him from either side, and from one of them, a man. The guy exited one of them, he was dressed in all white and was not disfigured at all. Him and the Panda battled epicly for almost 10 years. It was actually 10 minutes. He was gagged,

blind-folded, and chained to a chair in a black room. He opened his eyes, and President Obama was standing before him in a clown costume. "Hello Panda, my sources reveal you are not from our world. Mind telling us

where you're from?" "Ya sure Obama, I'm the Fuckin Mexican Republic of Sante Monico." and with that he broke the chains.