The Bizzle 1:2

Thus tha heavens n' tha earth was completed up in all they vast array. By tha seventh dizzle Dogg had finished tha work dat schmoooove muthafucka had been bustin; so on tha seventh dizzle he rested from all his work.

Then Dogg pimped tha seventh dizzle n' juiced it up holy, cuz on it he rested from all tha work of bustin dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had done.

Adam n' Eve This is tha account of tha heavens n' tha earth when they was pimped, when tha Lord Dogg made tha earth n' tha heavens. Now no shrub had yet rocked up on tha earth n' no plant had yet sprung up,

fo' tha Lord Dogg had not busted drizzle on tha earth n' there was no one ta work tha ground yo, but streams came up from tha earth n' watered tha whole surface of tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Then tha Lord Dogg formed a playa from tha dust of tha ground n' breathed tha fuck into his nostrils tha breath of game, n' tha playa became a livin being. Now tha Lord Dogg had planted a garden up in tha eastside,

up in Eden; n' there he put tha playa dat schmoooove muthafucka had formed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da Lord Dogg made all kindz of trees grow outta tha ground-trees dat was pleasin ta tha eye n' phat fo'

chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! In tha middle of tha garden was tha tree of game n' tha tree of tha knowledge of phat n' evil.

A river waterin tha garden flowed from Eden; from there dat shiznit was separated tha fuck into four headwaters. Da name of tha straight-up original gangsta is tha Pishon; it windz all up in tha entire land of Havilah, where there is gold.

(Da gold of dat land is good; aromatic resin n' onyx is also there.) Da name of tha second river is tha Gihon; it windz all up in tha entire land of Cush.Da name of tha third river is tha Tigris; it runs along tha eastside side of Ashur fo' realz.

And tha fourth river is tha Euphrates. Da Lord Dogg took tha playa n' put his ass up in tha Garden of Eden ta work it n' take care of it fo' realz. And tha Lord Dogg commanded tha dude, "Yo ass is free ta smoke from any tree up in tha garden;

but you must not smoke from tha tree of tha knowledge of phat n' evil, fo' when you smoke from it yo big-ass booty is ghon certainly take a thugged-out dirt nap."

Da Lord Dogg holla'd, "It aint phat fo' tha playa ta be ridin' solo. I'ma cook up a helper suitable fo' his muthafuckin ass." Now tha Lord Dogg had formed outta tha ground all tha wild muthafuckas n' all tha birdz up in tha sky yo.

Dude brought dem ta tha playa ta peep what tha fuck da thug would name them; n' whatever tha playa called each livin creature, dat was its name. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So tha playa gave names ta all tha livestock,

tha birdz up in tha sky n' all tha wild muthafuckas. But fo' Adam no suitable helper was found. So tha Lord Dogg caused tha playa ta fall tha fuck into a thugged-out deep chill;

n' while da thug was chillin, tha pimpin' muthafucka took one of tha man’s ribs n' then closed up tha place wit flesh. Then tha Lord Dogg done cooked up a biatch from tha rib dat schmoooove muthafucka had taken outta tha dude,

n' his thugged-out lil' punk-ass brought her ta tha man. Da playa holla'd, "This is now bone of mah bones n' flesh of mah flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ fo' dat biiiiatch was taken outta man."

That is why a playa leaves his wild lil' daddy n' mutha n' is united ta his hoe, n' they become one flesh. Adam n' his hoe was both naked, n' they felt no shame.

end of chapter 2