Escape

I guess this is kind of stupid. Jotting my personal, real life thoughts down in a virtual world. A world where, at the flip of a switch, everything can be erased. I guess it gives me a little comfort at the same time, though.

Anyways, my name's DTroll. IRL, my name's Chris. I'm not your typical antisocial, self-indulged stereotype of a lonely gamer. Far from it, actually. I have a lovely girlfriend named Jen, a family to come home too every night and

friends when I need them. Yet, for some reason, somethings missing. Something doesn't feel right. Maybe it's my family. Maybe the fact that my father is a cheating scumbag, or maybe it's the fact that my mother is an overly hypocritical

conservative lunatic. Maybe it's the fact that every time I look out my window every morning, I feel like there should be more to life than what I'm currently doing. So why do I play Civcraft? Is it the aspect of adventure? The feeling of finding

your own way in the wilderness to survive with the people you meet along the way? Possibly. It's something I've always wanted to go. Just go. Hop in my car and drive for miles, you know? There are times

where I wish I could take all my money and run. Use it on gas and food and just leave everything. Fuck college, fuck a job, fuck everything in this stupid life. Ya dig? And then there's some days where I regret feeling like that. Some days where I beat

myself up over having those feelings. Some days where, even though every fiber of my being is telling me to get up and go, my heart says otherwise. I'm planning it though. Every day of my life I pick up road maps and circle every small town with a bar I

can find. Hoping to God I can find myself, who I really am, out there. So if, for example, I go missing one of these days. If one day I happen to leave everything behind and never log onto this server again, you'll know where to find me...or, where not

to find me. You won't find me at home. You won't find me in my home city. Hell, you won't find me in my home Province. I'll be gone. I'll burn my ID, my bank cards, shred all my records and just run. Run with the wind at my back and the

pavement beneath my feet, because that's what a man is supposed to do. Not sit around in an office, not do the same bullshit day in and day out. Not dedicate his life to earning meaningless pieces of paper that some call currency. Not spend a whole

lifetime trying to fucking impress everyone and everything to make it seem like you're better than the man across from you. A man is supposed to be free. Not held to some superficial standards under the oppression of

every day social norms. Fuck this stupid, boring world. Give me some adventure. Let me be alone and find my way by myself. But no, it won't happen that way. The second I jump in my car and leave, everyone will

be on my trail. Regardless of what I do, someone will find me. Someone will give my location away. Someone, somewhere, with a stupid fucking camera phone will snap a picture of my license plates. Somewhere, someone will track my bank recods.

Somewhere, someone will post pictures of me with them on facebook and tag a location. It's not an easy world to escape, unfortunately for me. Hell, my phone will blow up from calls the second I shut my car door.

It shouldn't be this way. -DTroll