Page 1 of 22
The Real
Mother
Tawsix
ᴀ ʙʀɪᴇғ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ
ᴄɪᴠᴄʀᴀғᴛ ɴᴜʀsᴇʀʏ ʀʜʏᴍᴇᴢ
Page 3 of 22 §nGᴏʀᴅɢᴇʏ Pᴏʀɢɪᴇ§r
Gordgey Porgie, puddin'
and pie,
Pearled the 'caps and
made them cry.
When the server refused
to play,
Gordgey Porgie ate an
enormous chocolate
cake.
Page 4 of 22 §nFᴏʀ Eᴠᴇʀʏ Gᴇʀғɪɴɢ§r
For every griefing under
the sun
There is a remedy or
there is none.
If there be one, pearl
till you find it;
If there be none,
shitpost about it.
Page 5 of 22 §nLᴇʟ Lᴇʟ Aɴᴄᴀᴘ§r
Lel, lel, ancap,
Have you any coal?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three chests full;
One for the griefers,
One for RK,
One for the HCF
And anyone we say.
Page 6 of 22 §nLɪᴛᴛʟᴇ NᴏᴛSᴏBʟᴜᴇ§r
Little NotSoBlue, come,
state your query!
We're lacking a post
chain to read till
we're weary.
Where is the end of this
infinite chain,
We may never find it
'fore going insane!
Page 7 of 22 §nNᴀɴᴀ Nᴀɴᴀ, Qᴜɪᴛᴇ Cᴏɴᴛʀᴀʀʏ§r
Nana Nana, quite
contrary,
How does Valenti grow?
With lava, fire, and
cobble piles,
And swastikas of DRO.
Page 8 of 22 §nHᴏᴡ Mᴀɴʏ Bʟᴏᴄᴋs ᴛᴏ Cᴏʟᴜᴍʙɪᴀ§r
How many blocks to
Columbia?
Thirty score and ten.
Can I get there by
nether road?
Aye, and back again.
If you wear prot or use
JHoward mode,
You'll get there by
nether road.
Page 9 of 22 §nTʜᴇ Jᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ Hᴏʟᴅ§r
The Jack in the Hold
Looked out of the Hold
And this is what he
said,
"Now that we’ve
destroyed the Nazis,
Let’s kill all the
Prussians instead!"
Page 10 of 22 §nKᴇᴇᴘ Gʀɪᴇғᴇʀs ɪɴ Wᴏᴏᴅ§r
Keep griefers in wood,
They’ll be back where
they stood.
Keep griefers in stone,
Your vault will be
blown.
Keep griefers in DRO,
You’ll never know woe.
Page 11 of 22 §nI ᴀᴍ ᴀ Pʀᴇᴛᴛʏ Lɪᴛᴛʟᴇ LSIF Gɪʀʟ§r
I am a pretty little
LSIF girl,
As pretty as I can be.
And all the boys in the
World Police
NEED TO CHECK THEIR WHITE MALE CIS-SCUM RACIST SEXIST GENDERIST AGEIST PRIVELEGE RIGHT KOMRADES LONG LIVE LENIN
Page 12 of 22 §nWᴇᴇ Bɪʟʟʏ Wɪʟʟɪᴀᴍs §r
Wee Billy Williams
Runs through this dump.
Upvotes and downvotes,
Habitual grump.
Grumpin' on the grimpers
Shitting up the threads,
"You are in le middle
school,
Now please go to bed."
Page 13 of 22 §nTʜᴇʀᴇ Wᴀs ᴀɴ Oʟᴅ Hᴇʀᴍɪᴛ§r
There was an old hermit
Lived under a hill;
And if he's not pearled,
He lives there still.
Page 14 of 22 §nOɴᴇ Mɪsᴛʏ Mᴏɪsᴛʏ Mᴏʀɴɪɴɢ§r
One misty, moisty
morning,
While traveling the
highland,
An HCFer did appear
Clothed all in prot IV
diamond.
He began to pearl noobs
And ran around
unchecked.
Page 15 of 22 No reps for you!
And no reps for you!
And no reps for you, get
rekt!
Page 16 of 22 §nA Mᴀɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ Wɪʟᴅᴇʀɴᴇss§r
A man in the wilderness
Asked this of me,
"How many nether stalks
Grow in the sea?"
I answered him
As I thought right,
"As many Red LSIF
That know how to fight."
Page 17 of 22 §nTʜᴇ Fᴏᴏғᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴀᴛᴢʏ§r
The Foofed and the Gatzy
Were fighting in the
town;
The Foofed pearled the
Gatzy,
In DRO set him down.
Then after the reset
And all the cares were
spent,
Page 18 of 22 The Gatzy ran and was
elected
The new President!
Page 19 of 22 §nSɪɴɢ ᴀ Sᴏɴɢ ᴏғ Gᴏʟᴅ Oʀᴇ§r
Sing a song of gold ore,
A server full of alts.
Four and twenty ancaps
In a border vault.
When the vault was
opened
The ‘caps began to greif
‘Cause this server
cannot have
An instant of relief.
Page 20 of 22 §nLɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛᴛᴋ2§r
Little ttk2
flyin' through the
server,
scoopin' up the VPNers
and bannin' 'em on the
head.
And down came the Gorge
fairy, and she said:
Little ttk2 I don't want
to see you
Page 21 of 22 Scoopin' up my VPNers
and bannin' 'em on
the head.
And now I'll give you
three chances,
and if you keep it up,
I'll burn your server to
the ground.
Ttk2 couldn't respond
because Gordge's
girth had crushed
him to death.