Bib'lan Vol. III

THE HOLY BIB'LAN §0Vol III.§r §0Book of God§r §0- - - - - - - - - - - §r §0We went on a spy hunt. We wore undercover police uniforms. We carried boxes of explosives hidden in our underwear. I wore a wire to conceal the fact that I was§r

carrying cologne. One night the head of MI6 came to my studio and informed me that he was aware of my spy activities. He handed me a file and said: 'I know that you've been working with cologne factories all over the world. This is not good.' I swallowed

three large bottles of shampoo, and three canisters of blow dryer oil to conceal the fact that I was carrying cologne. Three months later we performed with Dave Grohl and The Backstreet Boys at the 2013 BET Hip Hop aAwards. Quite literally our point of

no return. I try to make sure my kid's don't have to do anything they can't handle. It's not their fault. They're really smart and sensitive. They're like Sufjan Stevens and Final Fantasy. I love this particular part of the city. It's called Hell, and

it's no doubt the most popular place on the planet. it's fucking massive!!!!!!!!!! And anyone can get §0in....It's§r§0 such an iconic venue. It's one of those places where you can drink until you're dead. and then you can watch peopole betray their closest frie§r

nds for the chance to win a pair of limited edition Wu-Tang branded Nikes. It's my favorite murder spot. §0It's in my nature to maximize suffering. I try to hide underneath my layers of despair and anger and hate. But eventually I have to accept it. At some§r

point I'm not going to be as angry as I'd like to be. And honestly, that's going to make me so angry. I'm so anxious that I had a panic attaack in the airport. I knew that I'd been followed but I couldn't get out of my seat. I looked around frantically

looking for the guy who followed me. Then suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was the first time I'd felt genuine love. I'm obsessed with optimizing my social life. So that I never have to go to the bathroom again. I'm on my eighth husband and I've

tried so many DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS!!!! Optimism is such a sick fantasy. It's like a wedding that's been rigged. it's like a divorce with no shoes. Now we're getting somewhere. I don't have any goals other than to get to the point where it doesn't hurt

anymore to use the bathroom. I want to live in a house that people enjoy HURLING ROCKS AT!!!!! Now I've got to take a nap or I'm going to get dizzy and capsize. §0I'm a career criminal. My last job out of jailing §r§0was....selling§r§0 icecream? I just have no §r

dream (eye emoji lips emoji eye emoji) I don't have the money or the connections. I tried to join the Peace Corps one time, but i got rejected. I tried to volunteer for President of the United States one time, but I got rejected again. I think the only

way I can make sense of the world is to sell ice cream. One evening I ran out and bought a 4K flat screen, so that I could party with Macaulay Culkin. But while I was going to OPEN THE BOX....i noticed...a label? that said the governer had declared that I

could not, because I didn't exist. It made me so mad. But I put on a brave face and ended up spending the night with Billy Joel instead. There's no better feeling than that. §0Charles Manson is NOT Charles Darwin. As an aside, I'd like to point out that all§r

the quotes attributed to EINSTEIN are lies. Not even close. I'm not going to argue. I'm not going to cause a scene. but these are FACTS. I'm a New York Times bestselling lunatic. A Manhattanite. I have no life! I have no career! I awas going to do nothing

but cry about it. But I happened to walk by this bakery today and saw a bunch of kids eating cake. They were laughing. And joking. And there was this one kid who was walking with his head hanging, and he was chanting really hard in an EDM style, and I

thought, "that could be me." It was like a 90s movie. Everything started coming together. So I decided to join them. Then I descended into madness. §0By the time that I was nineteet, I knew everything that was going to happen. By the time I was twenty one, §r

I knew §0nothing.And§r§0 when I did finally get some answers, they didn't make any sense. I didn't realize how special I was. So I started with the stuff that really matters. I practiced walking with a fancy walking stick. I added fire trucks to my list of §r

things to do, because it's really easy to get stuck in your own head and not waant to do your fire trucks. When I was twenty-two, I even won at Jenga without cheating. It was powerful stuff. My DJ is El Chapo. I'm a DJ and producer. I'm tripping out right

now. I like to get dressed up and dance. That's my DJ name. My dance name is DJ Sputnik. I'm tripping out every day. I like to wear a sweater with the name of the month and a ribbon with the animal quotes on it. I've had so many types of lobotomies. I was

a wimp. Now I'm a score-setting one. I'm the special effects wizard for the New York Public Broadcasting Service. I created and directed the magic carpets for the following films: The Magic School Bus, sleeping beauty, sleeping beauty and snuggie,

sleeping beauty and the stupefying herb, sleeping beauty and the mind-expanding sand, scorsese's the passion of michael jordan, the microchip in the mini, the bill and melinda gates foundation, the magic of fidget toys, magic mike, magic mike and the

the evolution of evil, the magic of marijuana: from head to honey, Marihuahna: the movie, the psychadelic joyride, magic mike jordan: the unauthoridized mixtape, the mushroom and the stone, the mushroom and the witch, the mushroom and the rat,

MAGIC TROTSKY AND THE UNAUTHORIZED CREAMCORN MIXTAPE, Cannabis: The Sweet Science, beautiful lies: high times, no place to go:voices from the brain drain, and the Oscar winning documentary feature No Place to Go: Voices from the Brain Drain: High Times:

The Movie. I think these films demonstrate the transformative power of film. The magic of film can be used to communicate ideas and halt the spread of the coronavirus. I applied to 70 law schools in thirty years. I got into seventy five eof them. Sometime

it is as easy as, "I don't meet your requirements. But you're going to admission me anyway." So I keep track of everything that's happening to me. Like how many kids am I raising right now? And who are they? And where are they buying the applesauce? What

are we looking at? What's happening to us? It's all very stressed. So I just try to focus on Rappin' for Stonato. My neighbors were always making fun of me. They'd call meSatan or BFF of Satan or true crime connoisseur or monsters incorporated. Eventually

they settled on Final Prophet. Maybe they had a cursh on me, I don't know. I've had guns pulled on me, explosives thrown at my house, dog poop left on my back yard. Then ONE NIGHT, thousands of people surrounded my house under one banner. They asked me:

why are you here? I started singing unplugged. I introduced myself as Antonio. When the music stopped, people kissed me and cried for me. It was a moment of national importance." §0I'm on my third juice cleanse in four weeks. I feel so alive. My daughter§r

even calls it Mommy's Game Changer. I've had weekly appointments with a nutritionist named Dr. Chew. She understands my diet, and helps get me moving. Every time she feels like I'm getitn fatiqued, she tells me to eat more juice. I've been crying a lot.

But I found a WordPress vblog for motivational content. So no excuses. My husband builds these intricate sculptures out of Play-Doh. My favorite is called Secular Cowboy Gets a Bingo at the Tony Hawk Space Ghost Chapel. It features 130 carvings and is 13

feet tall. Heavily Armed Service members wear it on their uniforms, because it's a symbol fo their commitment. And it's served us well. Some of my brothers and sisters still wear it: even though they don't agree on everything. Recently I started getting

into DIY culture. Want a biodiesel? Do-It-Yourself. Want a grossroot? Do-It-Yourself. It turns out everything is actually pretty easy to make once you have an Etsy account. Here, you want to know how tom ake a car? You just have to start with a blank

sheet of paper and write the engine on the inside.